I sit at the kitchen table in my 40th year, a single mom at Christmas with a hot cup of tea and a Tesco mince pie. It is 23rd of December. My son has been at his dads for the last few days and I’ve just finished the last of my festive shopping. It’s my 6th year as a single parent. To say 6 years ago that this is where I thought I would be in that time frame is unimaginable.
Christmas time is difficult for many people. Not just the Co-parent who alternates Christmas with their ex partner. The first few years were strange and took a while to get used to. There are some benefits though, like being able to go shopping child free, sitting in a cafe leisurely drinking a cappuccino while mums and dads try to fsqueeze a stroller with a crying toddler next to their table.
The other side is though, at some point you go home to an empty house. Presents are wrapped and placed under the twinkling tree waiting for the return of your child on Christmas Morning. This time of year always underlines my singledom. No-one to share the Santa list shopping with, no-one to help pull down the tree from the attic, no-one to cuddle up to in-front of a cosy fire when the kids are finally sleeping, No gifts waiting for you under the tree.
You’ve got to realise that everything you have been through up to now has been preparing you for what is to come. The day when you meet the love of your life. Remember that there is a person out there wishing for exactly everything you are, who will accept your flaws and love you anyway. All those past relationships which were built on dishonesty, hurt and distrust were preparing you to recognise when you find THE one.
Several friends commented that maybe I’m not meant to meet someone long term. Maybe I need to get used to the fact that I won’t get the fairy tale ending. They suggested I get used to being alone. I’m too young to give up. Yes I have a good job, I’m in a better place mentally and physically than I ever have been thanks to Team RH Fitness. Co-parenting has taken time to get used to but it has worked out for the best. But I’m not giving up on finding him, I know he’s out there somewhere and in the meantime, I’m working on improving myself and getting in shape. I concentrate now on the important things, making time for the people who truly matter and most of all raising a well-rounded, confident little human.
I am wishing you all a very happy Christmas and hope that 2019 is your year. You (and I) deserve it.